I want to be here for all

To all my dear friends especially to those I have not talked to in forever. These past few days since I have learned about Jordan’s death have really been hard. I have been feeling really numb because your not suppose to be burying your friends. 22 is just too young to die. I think I have felt more regret more than anything. Regret that I didn’t try hard enough to keep in touch with all my friends. Instead I got caught up in my own life. It hurts me that I wasn’t there and I lost touch and had no idea what was going on . Back in High school I felt just like this when JJ died. Why wasn’t I there. Why didn’t I try hard enough to help someone out. It hurts a lot that I never received a phone call when someone needed to talk, and I know that is my fault. I didn’t try hard enough to keep that relationship up to where they felt comfortable to call me when they needed to talk. So that is why I am writing. I want everyone to know I don’t care if we never really talk now or even if we never really talked in school, I am here to listen and to comfort. I want to be the shoulder you can lean on. No matter how long we’ve known each other. I am here. I have had to bury to many friends in my 22 years of life that I would not wish upon anyone. I know I suck at keeping in touch but I want everyone to know to please call me if you are ever having a hard time and just need some support.


Jordan please forgive me for not being there when you needed someone. Please forgive me for not keeping in touch. I will miss your bear hugs and how it was impossible to be in a bad mood after one. I will miss the way you ran too. In middle school during lunch one time, I believe it was Kevin Cooper that said it, that you reminded us of Mario when you would run. How you had these short legs that could run so fast and how after that day I always imagine you in a Mario costume whenever you would run. Oh how I wish I could turn back the clock to middle school where we use to hang out behind the cafeteria. I will truly miss you.

In loving memory of Jordan I would love to hear your favorite moment or moments with Jordan. It was so nice to hear some of Jordan’s stories at his funeral today. It really helps remembering how kind and loving he was.

Peace be with you until we meet again.

Thank you every body for reading. I feel much better getting this of my chest. Now I must return to watching cartoons with my girls and eating my ice cream.